3 Ways to Survive During the Darkest Night of Your Soul
Sometimes God is silent and does not seem to answer my prayers. Things only seem to get worse, and I wonder what He is up to as I watch everything I love fall apart. This year I have asked “why” more than any other year of my life. I’m truly trying to survive the darkest night of my soul.
I can’t see how God is at work.
I don’t understand why God isn’t changing my circumstances.
I can’t see a purpose that makes sense for all the pain I am experiencing.
Yet, I know He is God, and I am not. The Lord is good. My Heavenly Father is always right. He sees the bigger picture I cannot understand.
Friends, sometimes life gets so dark that we cannot feel the Light of God’s love. We feel suffocated by the despair of unanswered prayers and broken relationships. Maybe you are reading this right now and nodding your head “yes” because you feel lost and wonder if your life will ever get back to normal again. The darkest night of our soul can feel like an endless waiting room where anxiety has you handcuffed. You can’t go back to yesterday and find your joy, and you aren’t sure you even have the strength left to face an uncertain tomorrow.
I am so thankful that God has promised to collect all our tears in a bottle. He understands our sadness and confusion. He has not left us alone here to figure out what’s next. Even if we can’t feel His presence at this moment, He has promised to never leave us nor forsake us.
If you are walking through a dark season right now, and your soul feels empty and dry, don’t give up on God. The Lord is close by quietly protecting you in ways you can’t currently see. He is the Waymaker, and He cares about you deeply. Your Heavenly Father has a purpose for this season, but you have to keep looking up and crying out for His help.
During the darkest night of your soul, 3 choices will help you survive:
Slow down and make room for rest.
On one of the hardest days of my life, I pulled into the driveway of my home and sat in the car for a few minutes trying to not cry. When I got out of the vehicle, I heard a symphony of birds making melody in the big tree sitting in my side yard. I walked into the house, grabbed a lawn chair, and decided to sit outside with the birdies. The gentle breeze covered me with God’s grace, and the blue sky reminded me God had created everything I see. He will help see me through this dark season.
When you are walking through the valley, God cannot restore your soul if you keep running full speed ahead with all your responsibilities. Give yourself permission to back out of a few things. Learn to say no. Feel free to take a nap. You don’t have to carry the whole world on your shoulders. God’s got that covered for you.
- “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28-30, MSG)
Surrender control and choose to trust.
As you start each day, this simple act can help you get out of bed with confidence even if you are facing overwhelming problems:
Kneel down or sit on the side of your bed. Look up to heaven and hold your hands out with the palms open and up in surrender.
Repeat this prayer out loud: God, this is Your day. Give me courage to lay everything on the altar as a love offering to You. I can’t do this day without Your help. Help me to live like I believe You are in charge. I don’t need to fix things – I just need to be faithful to You. Thank You for providing everything I need to do Your will today. Have Your way in me. Amen.
- “Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil! Your body will glow with health, your very bones will vibrate with life!” (Proverbs 3:5-8, MSG)
Seek help and don’t isolate yourself from much needed encouragement.
One of the best choices I made during my dark night of the soul was to join a small group through my church. Each week, I meet with friends who ask me how I am doing, pray for me, and remind me that God loves me and has not forgotten me.
If you are struggling to make it through your day without crying or becoming an emotional mess, consider working with a Christian counselor. It is a financial investment, but one that is life-giving and can help equip you with tools to manage much of the stress you are facing. (I have my counselor’s name saved on my phone, and am thankful for her!) You can find a good Christian counselor in your area by clicking on your state on this page.
- “The way God designed our bodies is a model for understanding our lives together as a church: every part dependent on every other part, the parts we mention and the parts we don’t, the parts we see and the parts we don’t. If one part hurts, every other part is involved in the hurt, and in the healing. If one part flourishes, every other part enters into the exuberance.” (I Corinthians 12:25-26, MSG)
Need more help to survive the darkest night of your soul? I’ve created a one-page printable with 10 Scriptures to help you remember your God is bigger than bad days. Download a copy and read through these sweet promises every morning to help you get going this week. Grab a copy and spend the next 7 days focusing on how your God is able to help see you through anything. Every morning, you can sit at His feet and strengthen your walk as you remind yourself your God is faithful. Sign up today as a member of the Wildfire Faith Community and grab a copy in our Faith Fuel Library.
When we look to God to show us how to survive the hardest season of our lives, we will never be disappointed. He fills us with an inexplicable hope so that we sing His praises just like the birdies outside my bedroom window. The Lord literally gives us a song in the night and fills us with His joy and peace. All around us people will ask how we can rejoice when life seems so terribly hard, and this will open up the door for us to share our secret: God is singing a song of deliverance over our life. God is the heartbeat of our song. Without God, we would be hopeless.
Friend, never stop singing. God will use the darkest night of your soul to show everyone how His Light dispels all fear.
Keep looking to God for help during the darkest night of your soul.
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Let’s practice singing those songs of deliverance every day!
Yes and amen <3
I’ve also found this to be true: “sometimes life gets so dark that we cannot feel the Light of God’s love.” After our baby died, there was a period that my own grief was so heavy that I couldn’t feel God’s comfort. I *knew* he was still there, but I didn’t feel him. I could feel the comfort of other people though; I know that was God working through them. I’m sorry that you’ve had such a rough year and I pray that you will continue to find ways to get through this dark night. I appreciate you sharing with us. You are brave and you are strong.
Hugs, friend. I am so thankful you had friends that walked with you through your dark night. Resisting the urge to hide away from the world is the first step toward healing.
The choosing to trust part has been a big hang up for me lately. But God is forcing my hand in some ways. So grateful for him. Thank you for this.
Hugs and prayers, friend;